If We Could, We Would: A New Lens for Self-Acceptance

 We always do our best and we always do the right thing. Read on...

Loving Your Past

We all carry baggage from the past. Moments where we reacted poorly, missed opportunities, or made decisions we later regret. Hindsight, with its cruel clarity, often whispers accusations of "should have" and "could have." But what if, in those moments, we truly acted from the best of our understanding and resources? What if the sting of regret is merely an illusion, a distortion created by our ever-evolving perspective?

The "If We Could, We Would" philosophy offers a radical reframe. It's a deep dive into self-acceptance, a compassionate recognition of our human limitations. It asserts that we always act from the best of our ability in any given moment, even if that "best" appears flawed in retrospect.

The Weightlifter's Wisdom

Imagine a weightlifter capable of lifting 120kg on a good day. Now, picture that same weightlifter with a broken arm. Would we expect them to perform at their peak? Of course not. Yet, we often judge ourselves (and others) with the same unrealistic expectations. We forget that past actions were informed by different knowledge, emotional states, and levels of awareness.

The Tyranny of "Should"

"Should" is a loaded word, a weapon we often wield against ourselves. It sets a standard of perfection rarely attainable in the messy reality of human experience. We "should" have been more patient, more understanding, more eloquent. But in the heat of the moment, driven by fatigue, fear, or frustration, our actions often reflect our instinctual responses, not our highest ideals.

This isn't about excusing harmful behaviour, but about understanding its origins. It's about offering ourselves compassion instead of condemnation and using past experiences as stepping stones for growth.

The Post-Match Review: Transforming Regret into Insight

Just as athletes analyze their performance to improve, we can engage in a "post-match review" of our own lives. This involves reflecting on our actions, the factors that influenced them, and the emotions they evoked. It's not about self-criticism, but self-discovery. By understanding the patterns and beliefs that drive our behaviour, we can make conscious choices aligned with our values and aspirations.

The Wisdom of Emotions

Emotions are messengers, providing valuable feedback about our thoughts and beliefs. Anger, resentment, or guilt in response to a past action signals that we're holding onto a judgment or belief that no longer serves us. By exploring these emotions with curiosity and compassion, we can uncover underlying wounds that need healing.

The Wounded Inner Child

Often, our reactive behaviours stem from unresolved childhood experiences. The abandoned child within us may lash out in fear of rejection, while the wounded child may withdraw to protect themselves from further pain. By acknowledging and addressing the needs of our inner child, we can heal these old wounds and cultivate a more secure and loving relationship with ourselves.

Reframing the Past, Reclaiming Our Power

The "If We Could, We Would" philosophy empowers us to reframe our past. Instead of seeing it through the lens of regret and "should haves," we can view it as a testament to our resilience and adaptability. We can acknowledge that in every moment, we were doing the best we could with the resources available to us.

This reframe has profound implications for our self-image:

• Releases the Burden of Guilt and Shame: We can let go of past mistakes, recognizing them not as failures but as stepping stones on our journey.
• Embraces Our Imperfect Selves: We can accept ourselves fully, flaws and all, knowing that our imperfections are evidence of our shared humanity.
• Cultivates Self-Compassion: We can treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, recognizing that we deserve love and acceptance even when we stumble.
• Empowers Growth: By acknowledging past successes and learning from challenges, we can move forward with confidence, knowing we are always capable of growth and transformation.

We Always Do Our Best: A Transformative Truth

The statement "We always do our best" is not just an affirmation; it's a profound truth that can transform our relationship with ourselves and others. When we truly internalize this belief, we:

• Shift from Judgment to Curiosity: Instead of condemning ourselves or others, we can approach past actions with curiosity and compassion, seeking understanding.
• Foster Deeper Connection: Recognizing that everyone is doing their best creates space for empathy and understanding in our relationships.
• Inspire Growth and Transformation: Believing in our inherent goodness and capacity for growth encourages us to take risks, learn from mistakes, and strive to become our best selves.

Embracing the Fullness of Our Humanity

The "If We Could, We Would" philosophy is not about denying responsibility or excusing harmful behaviour. It's about recognizing that we are all works in progress, always evolving, always learning. It's about embracing the fullness of our human experience with compassion and understanding.

By releasing the burden of "should" and embracing the wisdom of hindsight, we open ourselves to a deeper experience of truth, love, and grace. We begin to see ourselves and others not as flawed beings, but as magnificent creations, always capable of transformation. This is the essence of spiritual maturity: to recognize our inherent worthiness, forgive our perceived shortcomings, and embrace the fullness of our human experience with open hearts and minds.

#IfWeCouldWeWould #SelfCompassion #NoRegret #InnerChild #PastIsPrologue #GrowthMindset #SpiritualMaturity #EmbraceImperfection #TransformRegret #LoveWins